V Day

It's not too bad this year. I'm surprised that I'm so relaxed and not thinking about stabbing couples and heart signs.

Mé srdce je v Irsku.

C'est vrai. Everyone knows it anyway...they just don't know what I just said.

I guess Luca is my valentine this year. I don't mind. Yesterday I was thinking and came to realize that he's one of the best things that ever happened to me. He has brought out that little piece of me that I always keep isolated and the loving/nurturing side of me. I have this new feeling when I see him running around through the snow or when he flops down and turns over so I'll rub his stomach etc. It's not exactly new, but it occurs more often now that I have him. I have come to the conclusion that it's a very pure love.

Love isn't always so pure and that's why it fades, but the pure kind lasts. I clean up his poop when he has an accident in the house (which hasn't happened recently!), ink stains, get up early, take him for walks when I don't want to, don't mind him licking my face, and barely notice his potent farts anymore. I don't ever feel annoyed or angry or resentful. I accept him for what he is and how he is. I have almost reached that stage with someone else in my life. The feeling is a little more sporadic though.

End It

The day.
I shouldn't be up right now.
There's a film of salt over my contacts from crying.

It's funny what can turn a day around (again). Been talking to a friend/ex from Hofstra. He's good at making me laugh. Offering to punch people is always nice too.

Katya always cheers me up too :)
Tonight she said "Cause if he did that (hurt me purposefully) then the whole town would be after him haha and by town I mean me"

Speaking of feisty little Peruvians...

About the guy I hit today...College athlete from UNH. He deserved it. Not only was he hitting on me, he was extremely arrogant and when he tried to touch my shoulder...BAM. In the face. Then I walked away and laughed. His buddies were laughing too. Hopefully he learned his lesson

When It Rains

This is one of the few songs that constantly gets stuck in my head. I hate listening to sad songs, so I don't like having it stuck in my head constantly, but I like the song.



I guess the test for me this coming week is going to be not isolating myself.

Forgot to mention that I bitch slapped a guy who hit on me today. He deserved it though.

Breathless

I recently bought Cascada's newest album. Each song is great. My three favorites are: Fever, Ready or Not, and Breathless. Some of them are sad, but all are danceable and catchy. They make me happy and if I'm smiling while walking around with my ipod, it's probably because I'm listening to Cascada.

Uptown another endless night,
Hearts break in early morning light.
I take my time.
Downtown alone some boy at home
Don't know what's really going on.
I take my time, but underneath it all it feels so right.
I feel am going crazy, but I won't cry tonight.

Don't turn away,
I need to say you are the one who leaves me breathless.
Don't run away,
I wanna stay as long as I can be with you.
Now I know, I never meant to break a promise.
I never meant to say goodbye.
Don't turn away,
I wanna stay as long as I can be with you.

What is my destination?
Spinning so fast I can't slow down
I lose my head when you're around.

Don't tell me to run away from this
Cause you've got the love I can't resist
How can I breathe?
How should I feel?


I don't need no superman
Trying to tell me who I am
Know it all's a driving me crazy

"Nothing ever is for sure."
I can't take this anymore.
All I want is yes or no baby.
Can you give it out?

Don't stop just take it to the limit.
Watch me boy it's spinning around this time.
Hush, hush, running to the night, feel alive...

I just can't get enough when I'm with you,
'Cause your fever makes me feel good.
Turn it up boy you make your move.
See I'm burning, but it feels so good.

Win

Always.
I never lose...

I get very heated over my teams. What I show is only a little of my reaction. So I haven't been keeping up with the Sabres as much as I should lately. Apparently they have lost the past 4 games. The Bruins has a losing streak also until the last game against Toronto. If you were as talented and had as great of a season as Ryan Miller has had so far, you would be tired too. Watching this first period I realize that the 2 goals scored against the Sabres are hugely a result of the boys lacking vigor and they're making some sloppy passes resulting in turnovers.

But if this were really a hockey analysis, then I would put it in my hockey blog. The Sabres and Bruins are rivals though. It's not as big as the red sox/yankee rivalry, but still important. The Sabres almost always come out on top too. I've never been to a game at the garden where the Sabres didn't beat the Bruins. I'm passionate about them. Ryan Miller is my hero.

So at this time of the month all of my emotions are heightened. I never liked the Bruins, but right now, it's stronger than usual. I really dislike Vladimir Sobotka. I used to have a lot of respect for him, but I lost it when he tried to start something with Nate in Portland. You pick on the little guy, I put you on my "should be tortured to death slowly" list. So his face is on the tv right now and I want to throw things at it.

So I'm going to eat brownies with some milk and hope that calms me down.

Reassess

You know what I like best about myself? My optimism.
Sometimes I get down, but never for long. Like tonight. Going to bed feeling a little hopeless about a couple of things. Tomorrow morning, I bet you my puppy, that I'll wake up feeling like anything is possible...unless I have another dream like last night.

I guess hormones also have a part to play this week. Tonight I kind of want to destroy men and eat a lot of chocolate and popcorn. Nope, you will never be able to quite understand this guys, just accept it and stay out of my way or be very very very nice and get me chocolate. It's always nice not to pms by yourself. I have company even if she's 3 hours away. Don't feel so alone. I am sane enough at the moment to know that this has nothing to do with vday. I'm quite looking forward to eating a lot of chocolate and watching romantic comedies. Maybe I'll even get to see Valentine's Day.

I'm psyched that BC won 4-3. I'll be wearing the shirt on Saturday all day and evening if it arrives in time (lost the bet, but won the game). I'll even show Nate. Friday where are you?!

I'm going to go listen to depressing music now. hehe!

Who is that?!

He's a insurance salesman!
No, he's a penguin!
Nope, it's Nate.

Watching the beanpot. It's currently the beginning of the second period. Now tied 1-1 (BC just scored). I switched teams. I'm now rooting for BC. After all Maine is represented by Brian Dumoulin and Nate is a BC alum. Two good reasons to support BC. I've been avoiding Nate lately in every situation lately (It's not that hard outside of the arena). No more messaging back and forth (except he told me he was going to be at the beanpot a couple of days ago). No talking. It's just painful. Have you ever felt that someone is so unbelievably adorable. He's so fucking adorable that it literally makes me ache. Sharp pain I can stand. Aches are torture. I wish I were that fucking adorable. He's the essence of adorable perfection in the body of a small man.

Won't listen to any advice.
Mommas tellin' me I should think twice,
But left to my own devices,
I'm addicted its a crisis.
My friends think ive gone crazy.
My judgment's gettin' kinda hazy.
My sneeze is gonna be affected,
If i keep it up like a love sick crack head.