I'm not talking about the movie (which was excellent). I'm talking about my dream. I returned from Portland happy and clear headed, but sleepy (not tired). So naturally I took a nap.
I usually have really intense, vivid dreams, but lately not so much or nothing memorable after 5 minutes of being conscious.
We were in a mall (we being Jared E., Katya, Hallie, Ali, Aaron and one of the guys from the room next to Hallies (can't remember which one), someone else and me), more specifically we were eating in a little restaurant in a department store. We were waiting for one other man to show up and he did after a few minutes. He walked over to me and told me he had a friend with him who needed to sit with us. I agreed, but was a little weirded out by how he said it.
The guy I talked with was tall, dark and handsome. He was dressed up and wearing mostly black. His friend was taller, darker and more attractive (looked kind of like Matthew Bomer), but I didn't like him. In reality I think he's someone I know, but in the dream he looked different than the person I know does. I don't know who that person is though.He sad down and ate with us though. The whole time I watched him out of the corner of my eye. My instincts told me something wasn't right about him. I couldn't figure out what it was though so I classified him as evil. After our meal we hung out until suddenly my tall, dark, and handsome friend said he and his friend had to leave.
Ali had a thing for my friend and thought something weird was going on also, so we followed them to their car. Imagine my surprise when I realized they had a carriage, not a car. We listened to them talking about something big about to happen and having to prepare for it and casualties etc. Ali tried to stop me, but I leapt out from behind a different car and asked, "What the fuck is going on?" I ran over to the guy and pointed a knife at him. He laughed and said "well I'm glad you're prepared."
I've had a kind of "get to the point, get out or I'll punch you in the face" attitude toward men lately, which is probably why I threatened him with the knife. Anyway there was only room for 2 in the carriage. My friend decided to walk with Ali (she kept changin from Hallie to Ali, so I'm not sure which one she really was). I went in the carriage and he told me a zombie apocolypse had started. He took me to an apartment building inside a warehouse and said this would be the safest place to defend from. He taught me a few spear and sword maneuvers. Later some of the others joined me, including jared, ali/hallie, and my friend. The rest had been bitten by zombies apparently.
So we lived there for awhile. My tall, dark and handsome friend came and went with his friend. We heard stories about how bad it was out there, but we were safe and had everything we needed. Occasionally we would go out on the deck (5 stories high) and watch the mayhem. It was kind of sad actually. People tried to get into our place, but were unable. I think the only person we let in was a kid.
So one day the guy I had previously thought was evil and I had lunch. He finally told me his secret. He was an alien. (In reality this would be a fml moment, because aliens terrify me). I found out that he and his people were sent to save humanity. He also told me that there was a new breed of zombies. The kind that can use their brains. They're like humans, except they possess little emotion and need human flesh to live. They even look relatively normal (a little gray in the skin). He said that he and his people had to regroup on their spaceship and be reborn in order to save humanity. Apparently oxygen did something to them to turn them into humans slowly. He showed my a picture in my mind of what they looked like originally. He looks like the aliens from the energizer battery commercial, but real not cartoon. He was the prince though and his soldiers were like short gremlin things that looked like cute stuffed animals.So he and my friend left to prepare. One day there was a loud noise and somehow a large wooden ship had crashed 1000 feet or so from our building. The new zombies decided to live there. It was about as tall as the building, so we had to stay inside the building. If they saw us they would try to catch us. One day night I decided to sneak onto the porch in case the aliens were out there. It was wishful thinking really. Unfortunately they saw me. I woke everyone up and yelled that we had to get out. Only Ali/Hallie and I made it out. While the zombies were in the building, she and I ran to the ship and started to climb it. We then realized there were even more zombies in the ship. We ended up clinging to the side where they couldn't get us. I was hanging onto a rope and she was in a crevice.
My arms were getting tired, but luckily the spaceship arrived. I decided that was probably a good time to take over the ship. The nearest zombie woman had been trying to get to me the whole time I was there so I swung over and knocked her off the boat. She died. Ali and I finally managed to kill about 50 zombies on the ship, but more kept coming. Finally the spaceship opened it's door and soldiers marched out. They were pretty much killing machines. The prince came out looking like that alien. I was little creeped out. How would you feel if you were dating a gray alien thing who previously looked like a really hot human man? The battle went on for awhile until someone stabbed him. I thought he was dead, but instead he turned into his human form.
Then I woke up :(
I usually only have zombie dreams when I'm getting sick or have a fever. Neither apply, so I'm not sure what this dream was really about, but I kind of wanted it to continue...
Also it reminded me of freshman year. Imani and I used to share our dreams. It made me realize that aspects of that year weren't so bad. Most were, but there were good times. I also came to the conclusion that I have finally forgiven Harlan. He broke up with me twice and after the second time, I couldn't forgive him. So, I came to despise him and finally I broke it off. It's nice to have one less grudge to harbor.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Zombieland
Labels:
aliens,
Dreams,
Freshman year,
highschool,
zombies
Friday, February 19, 2010
Back To Square One
Do you ever feel like aspects of your life go in circles?
I fell asleep during the US/France curling competition. Heard the french men speaking, which translated to french people in my dream. They were in the background. I jolted awake when I realized what the dream was about. It's already started. I guess it was more the feeling I had that woke me up.
I've been carrying it with me all evening. Not sure whether to scream or cry. Neither seem appropriate at the moment.
One of my guy friends once commented on the games women play. That just kind of popped into my head today. I guess we're known for making up tests for men to pass (which they rarely do). I try hard not to do either of those things. I don't want to be classified as one of those women, but sometimes I wonder if it's not necessary?
When will this get easy?
Yeah I know. Never.
Current playlist:
Make Me Believe - Angel Taylor
Written All Over My Face - Kris Allen
Radio Waves - Eli Young Band
Day & Night - Basshunter
Goodbye - Kristinia DeBarge
Cry Tonight - Kim Sozzi
Never Say Never - Armin van Buuren & Jacqueline Govaert
Breathless - Cascada
Good Bye Peace of Mind
This week has been the best in a long time. I watched the Olympics and that pretty much sums it up. Actually they have pretty much been my life this week. It's a good thing though. After all I want to be one of those 5 sport psychologists for the USOC.
Most of all I have enjoyed my break from men. I've been hiding out at the cabin all week and aside from going to the hockey game with Rick and a small run in with Nate, I have been perfectly happy being a hermit. I guess Nate has a point there. I'm sure there will be another ladies night sometime soon though and I do look forward to seeing people again.
Now the relaxation comes to an end. Time to get back to work. Time to let my peace of mind go. Time again to fight for everything I want.
I'll do a blog on the Olympics sometime soon...
Most of all I have enjoyed my break from men. I've been hiding out at the cabin all week and aside from going to the hockey game with Rick and a small run in with Nate, I have been perfectly happy being a hermit. I guess Nate has a point there. I'm sure there will be another ladies night sometime soon though and I do look forward to seeing people again.
Now the relaxation comes to an end. Time to get back to work. Time to let my peace of mind go. Time again to fight for everything I want.
I'll do a blog on the Olympics sometime soon...
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
What I Like About You
Henry:"With me it was Vince. With Ben it was Vince....Do you see a pattern?"
I love the show What I Like About You. I love Amanda Bynes. She's hilarious. The show is a comedic take on realistic situations, but there is more drama and always a happy ending.
The end of the show is the best part though. Holly stows away in Vince's car (he's driving down to Florida to be a bartender for the summer, because he thinks Holly is back with her ex, Henry and wants to get away) and rides down in the back, while Vince is in the front with a girl he picked up the day before. Basically she ends up sitting on a rock until he finds her. They decide to try again, so she returns to NY and he stays in Florida. He decides he misses her and returns to NY. The end.
Yes it's incredibly complicated. In fact, it reminds me of my own life in regard to men at least. Always complicated. Always dramatic. People say "it doesn't have to be that way" or "you can find someone better," but honestly I don't care about anyone "better" and I don't believe in soul mates. I know it doesn't have to be the way it is, but it's how I want it...or closer to how I want it than if I walked away.
I'm not the kind of woman who find it easy to commit to one guy. I get bored. I like to flirt. Then I figured out the pattern. I kept running away from guys, because it never felt right. I was never completely happy with them. There are people I can be happy with though. I know that now. I also know that it won't come easily. Nothing ever does. The hardest part is not quite having it and being afraid that it will be taken away before I really get a chance.
The quote, "to win you have to be willing to fail" comes to mind. It's true and it's difficult. Most days are struggle and I cry sometimes out of frustration and hurt, but it only lasts a short while before I am able to remember the good things and get the support from friends and family that I need. I used to think that it was my burden to bear and I couldn't share it with anyone else. Well it turns out there are people who care enough not to leave me alone with this. Luckily I can't stay sad and I know what I want, even if he doesn't.
Chick Flicks
Bridget Jones makes my life. Once upon a time I would watch it while eating brownies and ice cream because I was upset over a guy. Now I actually enjoy it and find it funny. One of the few romantic comedies about a full figured woman too, which some of my friends and I like.
My two favorite lines of the movie:
"i'm not willing to gamble my entire life on someone who's, well, not quite sure. It's like what you said: I'm still looking for someone who's more extraordinary than that."
and
"wait a minute. Nice boys don't kiss like that."
"Oh yes we fucking do."
Now I'm watching Cutting Edge 2. I also love this movie. It's not a great film, but I love it anyway. She's a stubborn, ambitious figure skater who loses her ability to compete individually after a fall during a performance. She meets Alex. He's a stubborn professional roller blader, who has no idea what he wants to do with his life. Of course after much trial and error they get together in the end. The stories with the stubborn guy and girl are the ones I like the most; probably because I'm stubborn. I also like this movie because the guy is incredibly hot (being honest about that)
My favorite lines:
Alex:"Have you ever done one stupid, spontaneous, passionate thing in your life?"
Jackie:"Why do i feel like I spend my whole life waiting for him..wait, how true is that statement."
Jackie:"But what if I tell him, and he still doesn't want me."
Jackie's Dad:"Well then you sit here and watch the sun rise and your old man will bring you coffee and chocolate..."
That first line said by Alex has stuck with me. I'm the kind of person who likes to have things planned out. I have a calendar and I plan out exactly how much time it takes to get from one place to another. I like to be about 5 minutes early or exactly on time and I hate being late, but that quote reminds me that sometimes being spontaneous is good.
The second is...pretty self explanatory and the third is a a typical father/daughter scene.
My two favorite lines of the movie:
"i'm not willing to gamble my entire life on someone who's, well, not quite sure. It's like what you said: I'm still looking for someone who's more extraordinary than that."
and
"wait a minute. Nice boys don't kiss like that."
"Oh yes we fucking do."
Now I'm watching Cutting Edge 2. I also love this movie. It's not a great film, but I love it anyway. She's a stubborn, ambitious figure skater who loses her ability to compete individually after a fall during a performance. She meets Alex. He's a stubborn professional roller blader, who has no idea what he wants to do with his life. Of course after much trial and error they get together in the end. The stories with the stubborn guy and girl are the ones I like the most; probably because I'm stubborn. I also like this movie because the guy is incredibly hot (being honest about that)
My favorite lines:
Alex:"Have you ever done one stupid, spontaneous, passionate thing in your life?"
Jackie:"Why do i feel like I spend my whole life waiting for him..wait, how true is that statement."
Jackie:"But what if I tell him, and he still doesn't want me."
Jackie's Dad:"Well then you sit here and watch the sun rise and your old man will bring you coffee and chocolate..."
That first line said by Alex has stuck with me. I'm the kind of person who likes to have things planned out. I have a calendar and I plan out exactly how much time it takes to get from one place to another. I like to be about 5 minutes early or exactly on time and I hate being late, but that quote reminds me that sometimes being spontaneous is good.
The second is...pretty self explanatory and the third is a a typical father/daughter scene.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Too Soon
Today was good. Incredibly relaxing. Pairs skating and this evening I just had a shock.
My friend from Tennessee got engaged today. I think I stared at the photo for a full minute with my mouth open. Then I thought, oh my god it's happening. it's started.
I'm incredibly happy for her, but I'm still in amazement. My second thought was: wait...she's younger than me. that's not fair.
My first friend is getting married. Who's next? and...
Line of thought: oh-my-god-she's-engaged-oh-my-god-I'm-so-happy-for-her-oh-my-god-it's-happening-wait-when-will-it-be-my-turn and repeat
Off to bed now I guess...
My friend from Tennessee got engaged today. I think I stared at the photo for a full minute with my mouth open. Then I thought, oh my god it's happening. it's started.
I'm incredibly happy for her, but I'm still in amazement. My second thought was: wait...she's younger than me. that's not fair.
My first friend is getting married. Who's next? and...
Line of thought: oh-my-god-she's-engaged-oh-my-god-I'm-so-happy-for-her-oh-my-god-it's-happening-wait-when-will-it-be-my-turn and repeat
Off to bed now I guess...
Valentines Day - PostSecret Style
PostSecret posted this on facebook and I liked it. I thought the first one was especially romantic and sad at the same time.
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