Monday, April 5, 2010

Meyers Briggs Essay



This is the essay I wrote. I have a head cold, so hopefully it's not horrible writing. It's about me and that's the point:

According to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) assessment, my type is ENFJ. This stands for Extroversion (E), Intuitive (N), Feeling (F), and Judging (J). According to the raw point ranges my E, S and F points fell under the ‘slight’ category and my J points fell into the ‘moderate’ range.

During the class before our assessments were handed out, we were asked to decide which type we were based on explanations of each group. I chose ISFJ. I was slightly surprised at first when I found out my result was Extroversion rather than Introversion. I tend to be quiet in class, think and understand before I speak, and sometimes “get lost in my own world.” However, after seeing the explanation of my assessment, the extroversion factor made more sense. I like to be alone sometimes, but I generally prefer to be with people and that’s where my energy comes from. I am attuned to the external environment as well as my own internal being. I enjoy talking with people I know and/or find interesting, as well as communicating through writing. I have many interests, but also focus on a few that have deeper meaning. I have a start stop tendency when getting to know people; I make an effort to get to know someone and feel energized afterward. Then I become shy and withdraw myself before picking up where I left off. I, both, live and then learn and learn and then live. This explains why my extroversion level is so low. I do love people and having an active social life, but I need a balance with my alone time. I think I get the best of both sides.

I also choose S instead of N before I received my assessment. However, after the fact Intuitive made more sense. Intuitive people have an inclination toward creativity rather than data and those types of details. I have taken a more specific psychology test that my father gave me. Creativity came up strongly for that test also. In our most recent class Artistic was part of my Holland Code. All of these accurately describe me because I am a dancer, writer, poet, photographer, and occasionally drawer. In developing my artistic abilities I use all of my senses, but when dealing with people I often feel like I have an extra sense, which is my intuition. I can speculate on situations and people and often be right.

I lean toward the Feeling side of the spectrum rather than the Thinking side, although it is only slightly. I make judgments based on my own opinions rather than being objective and analytical. I believe it is still analytical, but in a different way and I can be objective when I think it is necessary. According to the MBTI assessment I “make decisions based on personal values” and on my own “very clear sense of right and wrong,” which I “usually share openly.” This is true. I am very open about my opinions; however, I never push them onto other people. The assessment also said I draw conclusions about people “quickly and with certainty.” This is another true statement, which I have mentioned in previous reflection papers. I believe this reflect my intuitive nature as well as my preference for feeling. Another true statement is when I decided a person is “trustworthy and good, it is a difficult conclusion to dispel.” A good example of this is being told constantly by my friends and family that the man I care about is not a good guy. I have already formed my conclusion based upon how he has proven himself to me and as a result, I do no listen to or care about what they say. I am also confident in my decision due to the fact that I have never regretted befriending anyone.

The last section is Judging. This was the most defined section for me. I like close. I am rarely indecisive about anything unless I have to choose between triple chocolate cake an tiramisu. I like to make plans, plan events and know what I’m doing during the weekend ahead of time. I have a calendar, because I have so many social activities and responsibilities that I would not be able to remember otherwise. I have difficulty relaxing and doing anything fun if I have not finished my work first. In general I like to have control of my life. As a psychologist in training being this organized and in control is important. According to my assessment I can “be frustrated by those who are not as quick to decided and to act” as I am. This is probably one of the truest statements in the assessment. I have recently realized that most of my friends are perceiving people. They like or need spontaneity, have more things on their unorganized schedules than can reasonably fit, are rarely on time, and tend to make last minute decision. These are great people and I adore them, but it stresses me out. I want to change the world and “get things done,” which is difficult when I am late for something or plans are canceled. I am relatively in control of my life, however it is also nice to sometimes step back, take a breath and let life happen.

Being Sick

Is not an option. Ugh.

DO IT

I just yelled that at Katya over facebook chat. She said she was going to try and go to sleep. So I said, "DO IT!"

After I said I'm determined for him to leave Saturday free for me, he said that's a first. Not a first. The fact that I'm still here and and putting up with his shit. That has taken a lot of determination. I'm quite proud of myself for that too. I don't give up on the important things.

Grr...Okay I should sleep...or take quizzes that are due in 7.5 hours....

Saturday, April 3, 2010

90 Proof?

Had a great night with great people. We went to Friendly's because I was craving fried food. Went to the hookah bar. Well actually Hallie and I took a taxi there with our special pepsi bottles...

I'm in a happy happy mood. I think I kept Luke awake, but oh well. He can deal with my texts. hehe he's my fav. Kay night!

Friday, April 2, 2010

Spaz

That's my name today.

Today during the course of about half an hour I managed to give the waitress my gift card and debit card, remember that Beale's only takes cash half way there, leave my debit card in the machine (a nice woman ran after me down exchange street with it), forget why I called Beans, forget that I had called Katya, realize a short joke and some other joke that Hallie made about me about a minute late, etc.

I don't know where my head is, but I took a nap, so hopefully it will be better now.

Funny story this evening: A man came to the door. Apparently he's running for office. When I first saw him I thought he was wearing a kippah. Half way through the conversation he gave me a card. It said Republican, so I immediately looked back at his head and realized he was wearing sun glasses not a kippah.

Also, I need to remember that this weekend is Easter. Apparently there are people who celebrate it. Silly Waynflete, I'm so used to non religious people. Although I suppose I am one.

I think that surprises people sometimes. They don't realize I have my Jewish beliefs and that I follow them. So when I say something about G-d or Jewish holidays or praying, they're like whaaat? You're one of those people?!

No, I'm not "one of those people." It's nice to believe in something bigger than myself and I like that Judaism isn't about converting people for their own good. I don't believe in hell and I know that the bible/torah is basically a book of myths. In my opinion, Moses didn't part the sea and most people know that Jews don't believe Jesus was more than human (which is not to say that he didn't exist). I also don't believe G-d has a sex. Anyway that's a pretty simplified/watered down version of my religious beliefs and opinions.

So it appears that I will be going to church with my family on Sunday. Not looking forward to that. It always makes me feel persecuted. Last time I went, about 2 years ago, I was so scared, I was on the verge of tears.

At least I have Chinese and a hockey game afterward to make up for it...

Thursday, April 1, 2010

April Fools

No one has even tried to fool me today. Good thing. I'm not really gullible anyway unless I'm tired. Okay well I have been awake since 6:30 since SOMEONE barked in my ear for about 2 hours. Thanks a lot Luca. I've been busier today than I have been in a long time. Literally I have been on the go since 8. My class got canceled this morning luckily, so I went to Macy's and Victoria's Secret. I bought a bathing suit and found out that my boobs have grown (and I haven't even been on BC until Sunday). This is worrisome because BC will increase the size and so will babies. Great...not at all.

So my day doesn't end until 9 PM. I hope I can stay awake.

I did have a lovely early dinner with Hallie though. She told me two riddles and I solved them both! First one in record time, second one in record time also, I just didn't say it out loud because I didn't think it was right. haha bluebells!

So I've decided no more chocolate until June. I can do this (after all I haven't eaten oreos in over a year). I can eat sorbet though and smoothies and fruit instead of other dessert.

You Got Me

That's my new happy song, You Got Me by Colbie Caillat. I'm starting to get tired of It's Alright by Kris Allen.


If you were wondering what's on my mind...
This morning on my way to class I contemplated those of us who are more observant than most. Not long after Luke joined that thought process. Not the person, but as the subject. Yesterday was a really shitty day. I didn't really tell anyone how bad it was, but I asked him if he ever had one of those days where he doesn't know how he's gonna make it. The answer is irrelevant to whoever is reading, but I realized he's the first person I want to talk to when I feel so down. In fact he was the only one to make me laugh that day and previously after I'd been fighting with my mom I called him and beans. They both made me feel a lot better.

1. This is kind of scary. Inconsistent man = best way to cheer me up. Uh oh.

2. It made me wonder how much he really knows about me (and how I feel about him). In the evening yesterday I drove to the mall to meet up with Vano. On the way I realized that once he had tried to cheer me up by telling me I should dance. I don't remember why or when, but I remember it vaguely because I was surprised that he knew that's one of the few things that almost always makes me feel better. Then yesterday it was chocolate. Everyone knows I love chocolate, but I guess it surprised me that he paid that much attention?

This lead me to wonder if he knows more than I give him credit for...er want to give him credit for...er want him to know?

I remember having a conversation about it once. He said he was observant, he just didn't do anything about it. Whereas I'm observant, which helps my friends when they're having issues and need advice/neutral opinion etc.

I tend to keep my innermost thoughts and feelings to myself. I've gotten so good at it (which isn't a good thing really) that no one can tell unless I want them to. I've been less protective of myself with him though. Most people don't understand why. You'd think he's so inconsistent that he'd be the last person I'd trust. Truth be told, he's probably the first (I can hear Beans going "whyyyyy!?" and Carol saying "Girrrl, you're crazy!"). As for why, well, one of the two reason is that he was the only one to rely on during 2 of my biggest freak out moments since Decemberish (The Kate thing and something to do with my sister). So in my eyes, he proved himself (I don't really care about your eyes on this matter. Sorry, just don't).

But good luck trying to get me to say this to his face. I'm too shy for that :)

Anyway this makes me wonder what else he knows. I guess I'm more straightforward with him than I have been with other guys, because I have a higher respect for him (again good luck getting me to admit this). Manipulating people, especially men, comes easy to me, but I never do it purposely. Somehow I feel the need to prove this even more to him. Something like he needs to know that I would never do that.

However, I think I'm straightforward in a 'saying stuff without actually saying it' way. Believe me, it's possible. I like completely honestly. That's a main reason Beans is my brother. He's very straightforward. I like to be completely honest and lay everything out on the table the way it is. Sometimes that's tricky though. Maybe someday...

Okay starting to ramble, so good night! I think I laid things out really well so far.

You're stuck on me and my laughin' eyes
I can't pretend though i try to hide
I like you, I like you
I think I felt my heart skip a beat
I'm standin' here and I can't hardly breathe
You got me