The Fourth Kind

Have you ever seen the movie, the Fourth Kind?

I saw it in theaters.

Key word: "Saw" - by which I mean I most closed my eyes or averted them from the screen.

It freaked me out and will probably continue to give me nightmares for the rest of my life.

I didn't sleep for a week straight after I saw it. The night after I went to Dunkin Donuts and got a large coffee and some donuts. I sat up the entire night with the lights on in the den with the tv on. I didn't sleep. The rest of the week I stayed in my bed at night, but kept the light on. The one time I did try to turn it off, I could have sworn aliens were in my room. On went the light again.

After a week I decided I needed something comforting to put me to sleep, so I made an Owl City playlist that played all night and put a nightlight in my bathroom. I got some sleep, but still woke up at different times of the night with nightmares. If I woke up before 3:33 then I would stay awake until 4 AM.
After a month I stopped using the playlist to sleep...mostly because I memorized all the songs and the lyrics would stick in my head so I couldn't sleep.



This blog entry has nothing to do with The Fourth Kind and everything to do with something else...okay, someone else.
I would watch it every day just to get him back.

The only thing scarier than clowns and aliens, is being hurt by a man I care about.
Well I ran away so I wouldn't get hurt. I didn't face that fear then and now it's too late.

So I guess I'll face the clowns and the aliens for now and hope that maybe I'll get another chance to face my biggest fear sometime soon in the future.

Note: A minute and a half into it and I'm hyperventilating and shaking from fear.
If I can face this, I can face anything right?

Dancer Bias

Have you ever noticed how judgmental dancers are?
Probably not.

Over the years I've noticed that dancers:
1. Only critique other dancers
2. Generally think there's a difference between people who learn to dance and people who have the natural ability
3. Don't criticize non dancers unless they look ridiculous

And of course all of this is between dancers, so you almost never hear about it if you aren't a dancer.
Dance can be clickish, but whatever.

I say dance if it makes you happy.
I do.

What's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?

Adopted me :)

Ask me anything

It Must Be Nice

The real world isn't a tv show. It's a jolt to the naive; a harsh reality where only the realistically optimistic and determined can flourish.

Last year someone who means a great deal to me said, "oh, to be a college kid. it must be nice." I ignored the sting of that comment. I don't like being belittled. Honestly, I didn't really care or want to know what he meant by that.

Now I know. Now it's my turn to say that. I won't say it of course, but I'll think it.
It was nice, but now it's over and I have to face the fact that I am first and foremost an adult.

It's a sobering thought.

On my day off, I thought long and hard about everything.

Also on my mind: Family.
Our family is our foundation. Families come in all shapes and sizes and some aren't even blood related. I have 3. My parents, my sister, and my brothers/Katya.

The family I have been thinking about is the one that raised me. My grandmothers and my parents. My mom said that I was the brightest thing in Nana's life. Previously I remember one of my parents and/or nana saying I was the hope for the future.

That's a lot to live up to. It's hard to live up to.
I know I can and I'm sure I will though.

Thing brings me to my next though: One generation is gone.
Our parents are taking the place of our grand parents and we're taking the place of our parents. This isn't to say we're becoming them, but we're becoming the adult generation. It's time for us to find our places in the world.

We can't do it alone though. That's why we have family...and so the cycle continues. As I've said before, life continues and soon my generation will be getting married/finding life partners and eventually having children. Not everyone of course, but a good majority.

Life is never ending. Family continues as well.
On and on and on.

So where am I in this cycle?
I'm learning how to be an adult.
Every day I worry first about money and second about love.
Word of the year: Responsibility.

This may sound like an unhappy post, but it's not. I'm a little bitter, but I'm far more relieved not to be so naive anymore. It's simply a reality check.