It would appear that 'Thanksgiving' is one of the few titles I haven't used for my blog yet. Fancy that.
I suppose I have a lot to be thankful for. I know sometimes I tend to focus on what I don't have or what's going wrong. I'm sure you do to. I always try to keep in mind what I do have though.
I have a constant reminder glued to my side: Luca. He's a furry, little (by little I mean large) beast who drives me crazy sometimes, but I love him nonetheless. He's always there to distract or sooth me when I need it. It's so hard to believe I've had him for almost a year. Best therapy ever? I'm so thankful.
Speaking of little beasts who aren't little, I have to say I'm thankful for the human with a similar name...who drives me crazy sometimes, but whom I adore nonetheless. I'm thankful, because he makes me happy in a way no one else can, because I trust him completely (which rarely happens, with men especially), because he's seen me cry and held me...more than once, because he's been the focus of my anger way more than once and remained patient, because he's seen me without make up in the harsh light of morning and he still likes me. I'm thankful that he finally said what I needed to hear. He's the one person who knows exactly what I'm going through with nana. I'm so thankful when he inquires about her or how I am. If he reads this, he'll know this is for him: I'm thankful for you.
Of course I'm thankful for family. This year has been exceptional in terms of extended family. My cousins are great and one in particular is on my list of favorite people ever (also on the short list of men I trust completely). He's funny, exceedingly caring, and smart, so what's not to be thankful for eh? There's a lot more I could list, but I'm pretty sure I've done so in a previous post (or 2 maybe ha). I'm thankful for him, because I know he's got my back even from half way across the country...and part way into another country.
I'm thankful for my parents even though they really drive me crazy often. They brought me up to be the woman I am today. I'm proud of who I am and I know they are too (even though I keep switching majors and schools). I'm thankful that I can tell them anything and that they haven't tossed me onto the street for my love of coffee and fashion. Despite my mistakes, they love me and despite theirs (which I enjoy complaining about ha), I love them. Recently I had a 'wow-my-parents-are-kind-of-really-great-and-I-love-them' moment. - My mom went off about how not making sure the lint was cleared out of the dryer was a fire hazard. For once, it didn't annoy me. I just stood back calmly and smiled, because in the grand scheme of things, lint fire hazards mean nothing, but it's typical of my mom to worry about such things. When it's not annoying, it's sometimes adorable. So then my dad started making jokes about it because he also realized it was a little absurd to go off on such a tangent, but he wasn't mean about it even though she was blaming him. In response, she took a small, empty cardboard box and hit him on the head with it. Not seriously, but in a 'you-think-you're-so-funny-making-fun-of me-huh?' way. Then a second time for good measure. -
I'm thankful for nana. She helped raise me, taught me how to cook delicious food, taught me how to multiply, exposed me to good television such as I Love Lucy, I Dream of Genie, and Happy Days etc. I will save the rest later, because I know there will be a time when I will write a longer blog entry about her and I would rather not repeat myself.
My sister is also on the list of family. I'm thankful that she didn't give up on me even though I was completely selfish and nasty to her when we were children. I'm sure as we grow older, we will become closer.
I'm always thankful for my friends especially those who have been there for me recently with the Luke/Brent/Nana stuff. Especially Hallie who spent an entire day with nana and me in the ER. I'm thankful for my brothers. They're kind of the light of my life (or a few lights of my life?). I'm so proud of them. Beans for doing well in school and maintaining a healthy relationship with someone who seems like a great girl. Jared for being Jared and for being honest with his girl. They're both great examples of how good men of our generation should be. It's also nice to know that while we may live far apart and change some, when we get together, we are still 3 crazy idiots who do the Can Can and skip down a street in the middle of Portland.
As for everyone else who has come and gone in my life, I'm thankful for them too. Everyone teaches us something. While I hate to admit it, because I'm still hurt by what he said, there is one man who was in my life for about a month who I must be thankful for also. He is not responsible for me being happy and finding myself again, but he did show me that I didn't have to settle for last place in a man's life (as I had for about a year) and how good it could be. I must also be thankful for the words that hurt me, because it was a reality that I needed to face, but no one had ever said the words: emotionally distant. I'm thankful, because ultimately he brought me back to the man I love; the one man with whom I have no problem showing how I feel and definitely can talk to about my feelings.
