Ms. Brightside

On the bright side, I now have nothing left to lose.

I should focus more on the fact that I admitted my mistakes, apologized and have been completely honest.

Maybe I will soon.
I'm still not past the loss.

In 2011 I have no more grandmother and no more Mr. Big.
What happened to to 2011 will be better?
I think that's just something we have to tell ourselves every year to make ourselves feel better about the shit we've done and get over the shit that was done to us in the past year.
It's optimistic and it drives us to make our lives better. It works quite well doesn't it?

In 2011 I have lost or am losing someone I love. Things can't get any worse. They can only go up.

There's the silver lining in a lot of despair.

Always reach for that silver lining when you're in the dark.
It's your last lifeline and your road back to contentment, if not happiness.
If you're lucky like I am, you'll have loved ones encouraging you to join them at the top.

To be clear, I'm not in the dark.
It's more like I'm in a bright white room with fluorescent lights illuminating my mistakes. I've been sitting here for a little white, but I just found that silver lining that is the crack in the door. Hopefully I'll find the rest of it soon, because I am not a negative person.
I'm an optimist damn it!