6 Months

In 2 hours it will be 6 months from my birthday.
I have mixed feelings about it.
On the one hand the fall was hell, because things were so bad with Nana.
On the other hand, there were great moments, and I was the happiest I had been in a long time.
The photographer was in my life and everyone could see the effect he had on me. I guess you could probably see it last Friday and Saturday as well. I glowed and I was full of life...everyone said so.
He's the only reason the fall wasn't completely horrible.

So much has changed since then though.
I make myself happy now.
I make myself glow.

Today I got my tattoo.
I love it.
The best part was walking back to my car knowing that I had done it all by myself. I didn't need a man to hold my hand through the pain. It wasn't too painful. Some parts hurt more than others. Some parts didn't hurt at all.
I had a huge adrenaline rush, which still hasn't faded completely, but more importantly, I felt strong.

The starfish will hurt more, because it's going over my spine, but I'm not afraid.
Bring it.

And as far as men go, I've put up with enough of their shit. I've come to realize that it doesn't matter whether they're the "nice guys" or the "bad boys." They all do shitty things when they get scared.
I might have put up with it in the past, but...
Well remember the girl who punched her best friend in the nose, because her friend still hummed a song she hated one too many times?
Yeah, she's back, and she's not cutting anyone slack anymore.

I'm not saying you have to be perfect.
No such thing.
Just do your best, don't let your fears take over and make you hurt other people and you'll be good in my book.
No bloody noses.

Although to be honest, I didn't actually mean to hit her.