Why hello there! I didn't get to greet you properly at midnight. Oh yes it was a crazy night. The total vomit count came to 5. 5 girls. None of them me. I was the one running back and forth making sure they got to the bathroom, holding their hair back, cleaning their faces off, cleaning the toilets, giving them water, etc. Yes it was lovely. That's okay though. Anything for a friend right? Well maybe.
So my goal for the night was basically not to realize that I'm single at midnight. I'm sure you can put two and two together...That was my goal before the evening started anyway. It changed pretty quickly.
You know how plans usually never go the way you want them to? Well that happened to me. I just wanted to talk, but I got really nervous and stuff...and that didn't happen. Then I still wanted to, but realized it probably wasn't a good idea then. I told Beans to talk to Luke and that went pretty well I think. Then Beans mentioned Kate.
I don't remember what he said, but the name set something off in me. I started to cry. Neither of them noticed at first. I went into another room when I realized I wouldn't be able to control it. I ended up sobbing in the bathroom. I guess I didn't realize how much the Kate thing really affected me. I feel a lot better and I cried in front of people (I guess that's a good thing in an odd sort of way).
This was not the end of the crying, but I think the next part was funny. It makes me laugh at least. About 5 minutes after Luke left (i think) Edith and Jared found me in the corner by the door crying. Then I started laughing. That almost always confuses people. Then I feel embarrassed and I do it more. Anyway, apparently I said "my boy left, but I think he kissed me so it's okay." Am I the only one who thinks that's hilarious? Maybe you had to be there. I think it's funny though.
So then the rest of my evening was spent taking care of other people. I'm tired today, but alright other than that. I feel light and rather happy. Not at all weighed down by the past.
This weekend I plan to relax, aside from taking care of my dog. There is going to be a Lord of the Rings marathon all weekend, so that sounds pretty nice. Feel free to join in.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
11:11
Be careful what you wish for on 11:11, because it might come true. Maybe not immediately, but 8 or 9 months down the line.
Today I woke up to a surprise. I checked facebook and saw that I had a message. It was from Nathan Gerbe. If you don't know, he's one of the best players on the Pirates hockey team and destined to make it to the NHL. He's only 5'6, which is part of what amazes me about him. Not his height, but how courageous and tough he is among all the 6' something guys.
Like I said, it took me completely by surprise. There is part of me that isn't too surprised though. Anyway I always saw him more as a person than a rising professional athete. Hockey is a job after all. It's their passion, but it's a job. It's not exactly who they are. That's why I like to treat atheletes like everyone else. That and the fact that I might be working with them some day if I decide to get my Ph.D.
Today I woke up to a surprise. I checked facebook and saw that I had a message. It was from Nathan Gerbe. If you don't know, he's one of the best players on the Pirates hockey team and destined to make it to the NHL. He's only 5'6, which is part of what amazes me about him. Not his height, but how courageous and tough he is among all the 6' something guys.
Like I said, it took me completely by surprise. There is part of me that isn't too surprised though. Anyway I always saw him more as a person than a rising professional athete. Hockey is a job after all. It's their passion, but it's a job. It's not exactly who they are. That's why I like to treat atheletes like everyone else. That and the fact that I might be working with them some day if I decide to get my Ph.D.
Full Moon
I swear it's the moon affecting me. I should be exhausted after driving 5 hours today and lifting heavy boxes and going for a long walk with my dog. I'm extremely wired though. I suppose listening to music I want to dance to doesn't help, especially the song about sex :D
Annnnyway. I know I said I'm done with the past...and I am. But I thought just for fun I'd look back at my AIM conversations from awhile ago (they automatically save). I've come to a few conclusions. First, I'm incredibly random and funny. Second, I feel like an idiot for not seeing something so obvious from the start. I guess my own insecurities got in the way and I owe some people apologies. I could have saved myself a lot of ups and downs this past summer and two summers ago (although a lot of that wasn't my fault). It's a good thing they're gone now. I was making progress before I realized that, but now everything is so clear. Well not everything, but certain things. Ambiguous? Sorry. I feel like I should confront the situations and make amends before I say anymore.
Maybe now I can sleep?
Annnnyway. I know I said I'm done with the past...and I am. But I thought just for fun I'd look back at my AIM conversations from awhile ago (they automatically save). I've come to a few conclusions. First, I'm incredibly random and funny. Second, I feel like an idiot for not seeing something so obvious from the start. I guess my own insecurities got in the way and I owe some people apologies. I could have saved myself a lot of ups and downs this past summer and two summers ago (although a lot of that wasn't my fault). It's a good thing they're gone now. I was making progress before I realized that, but now everything is so clear. Well not everything, but certain things. Ambiguous? Sorry. I feel like I should confront the situations and make amends before I say anymore.
Maybe now I can sleep?
If I Had You
So recently I realized I am completely and utterly in love...
with Adam Lambert.
He's so fucking adorable. Look at his face! I just want to hug him and pinch his cheeks. By love, I don't really mean love, I mean infatuated. I can't stop listening to his music. What is this weirdness Rosalba? I used to be one of those people who knew his name, but didn't care because he came from American Idol (which I don't watch). Then I heard Whataya Want From Me on the radio. I thought, wow this is actually pretty catchy. Then I heard For Your Entertainment and I loved it. My favorite song is If I Had You. His voice is beautiful. It's bubbly, powerful and lyrical. So I don't care if you're one of those people who don't like him for the same reason I didn't. I love his music and his adorable face. Don't bring that down.
Plus he can do that sexy/bad ass smile. Not many guys can pull that off. It's so alluring. I'm also a master of it. Never fails.
Good Night
He's so fucking adorable. Look at his face! I just want to hug him and pinch his cheeks. By love, I don't really mean love, I mean infatuated. I can't stop listening to his music. What is this weirdness Rosalba? I used to be one of those people who knew his name, but didn't care because he came from American Idol (which I don't watch). Then I heard Whataya Want From Me on the radio. I thought, wow this is actually pretty catchy. Then I heard For Your Entertainment and I loved it. My favorite song is If I Had You. His voice is beautiful. It's bubbly, powerful and lyrical. So I don't care if you're one of those people who don't like him for the same reason I didn't. I love his music and his adorable face. Don't bring that down.
Good Night
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
On And On
I spent today on a road trip to Keene, New Hampshire with Katya. It was incredibly fun. We sang practically all the way there and back. It was a nice break from my everyday routine, which revolves around Luca.
I took a long walk with him this evening. I figured it would be a good way to think about things, like how I want to start this coming year. I was so deep in thought that I wandered down strange streets before I realized I didn't know where I was. It was difficult to process everything that has happened in the past 7 months (Holy shit, 7 months). It's been 7 months since my life started looking up. Yes that's about when I returned home.
Anyway, tonight I let go of the past. There's only so much you can learn from it and brood about before you have to let it go. So that's what I did. The past is the past.
Tomorrow is new and exciting. An intimate dinner with my some of my best friends seems a good way to begin the evening. Who knows what tomorrow night will bring. I'm sure Vano and Katya will capture quite a bit of it though.
l'chaim!
I took a long walk with him this evening. I figured it would be a good way to think about things, like how I want to start this coming year. I was so deep in thought that I wandered down strange streets before I realized I didn't know where I was. It was difficult to process everything that has happened in the past 7 months (Holy shit, 7 months). It's been 7 months since my life started looking up. Yes that's about when I returned home.
Anyway, tonight I let go of the past. There's only so much you can learn from it and brood about before you have to let it go. So that's what I did. The past is the past.
Tomorrow is new and exciting. An intimate dinner with my some of my best friends seems a good way to begin the evening. Who knows what tomorrow night will bring. I'm sure Vano and Katya will capture quite a bit of it though.
l'chaim!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Family and New Year's Eve
Not together.
Apparently someone broke into my cousin's house. I love my Canadian cousins. They're pretty awesome. (unlike my southern cousins...er just one. Marcus seemed okay). After visiting this past summer, I'm hoping to keep in more regular contact with them like we used to when the family (the jewish side) would gather at Granny's house in CT for Thanksgiving and her birthday. I feel a little bad, because I don't have any fondness for my southern cousins and I know my dad and nana wish I did. Oh well.
But anyway, I have a busy week. I'm pretty excited about it all. Hallie comes home today. It's been weird without her. I'm used to seeing her at least once a week. Our grand adventures shall continue Wednesday though. We're running an errand for my dad to Keene, New Hampshire, but I thought it would be a fun mini road trip. We have to fit 20 boxes of Duct Tape Isn't Enough in my car some how. Later today Kat and Micah are going to help me take Luca to be bathed and I might see Emma. Looking forward to hearing about "Le boyfriend's" trip to Maine. Also buying my dress tomorrow.
New Year's plans are settled. Dinner and a fancy party at Vano's. Theme: The Fame. Love love love Lady Gaga. Then a late breakfast and the NHL Winter Classic. That's a ritual for us. Recuperating from a late night/watching the big outdoor hockey game. Bruins vs. Flyers. Flyers can go to hell.
I just felt the need to share my plans for the week, because I'm really excited. I also think you should know that my dog is funny when he sleeps. He snores and when he stretches, sometimes he keeps his paw high in the crate door. I had to put him in his crate at 10 tonight because he kept barking at the corner of the media room. There's nothing there except the couch, so I have no idea what he was barking at. He also wouldn't stay off the couch. It was weird. It always makes my day when I'm sitting on the floor and he comes over to me. He tries to lick me everywhere and somehow always ends up sitting in my lap or tonight, his front paws ended up draped over my shoulders.
Last but not least, I just learned that "The Rev" aka Jimmy Sullivan, the drummer from Avenged Sevenfold passed away. He was a crazy man and incredibly skilled.
Apparently someone broke into my cousin's house. I love my Canadian cousins. They're pretty awesome. (unlike my southern cousins...er just one. Marcus seemed okay). After visiting this past summer, I'm hoping to keep in more regular contact with them like we used to when the family (the jewish side) would gather at Granny's house in CT for Thanksgiving and her birthday. I feel a little bad, because I don't have any fondness for my southern cousins and I know my dad and nana wish I did. Oh well.
But anyway, I have a busy week. I'm pretty excited about it all. Hallie comes home today. It's been weird without her. I'm used to seeing her at least once a week. Our grand adventures shall continue Wednesday though. We're running an errand for my dad to Keene, New Hampshire, but I thought it would be a fun mini road trip. We have to fit 20 boxes of Duct Tape Isn't Enough in my car some how. Later today Kat and Micah are going to help me take Luca to be bathed and I might see Emma. Looking forward to hearing about "Le boyfriend's" trip to Maine. Also buying my dress tomorrow.
New Year's plans are settled. Dinner and a fancy party at Vano's. Theme: The Fame. Love love love Lady Gaga. Then a late breakfast and the NHL Winter Classic. That's a ritual for us. Recuperating from a late night/watching the big outdoor hockey game. Bruins vs. Flyers. Flyers can go to hell.
I just felt the need to share my plans for the week, because I'm really excited. I also think you should know that my dog is funny when he sleeps. He snores and when he stretches, sometimes he keeps his paw high in the crate door. I had to put him in his crate at 10 tonight because he kept barking at the corner of the media room. There's nothing there except the couch, so I have no idea what he was barking at. He also wouldn't stay off the couch. It was weird. It always makes my day when I'm sitting on the floor and he comes over to me. He tries to lick me everywhere and somehow always ends up sitting in my lap or tonight, his front paws ended up draped over my shoulders.
Last but not least, I just learned that "The Rev" aka Jimmy Sullivan, the drummer from Avenged Sevenfold passed away. He was a crazy man and incredibly skilled.
Monday, December 28, 2009
To You
who have worse problems than me. That would be the majority of the world.
I'm always ready to help a friend with a relationship/guy/girl problem. It happens quite frequently too.
Tonight has been a bit hectic. I've been dealing with my own life, my sister's boy problems, my friend's girlfriend issue, and trying to find a suitable guy for 2 of my single ladies. I don't mind any of it...except for the sister part. I'm not okay with a guy she has liked for 4 years (does that long lasting thing run in the family?) telling her friend she's a "mother fucking ho." First of all, it's not true. Second of all, douche. I'd beat him up if he were close by. Mostly I sympathize, because if that happened to me, I would want to crawl into a hole for a very long time. I told her to ignore him and eventually she would move on. I don't even know if that's true. Having feelings for someone for 4 or 5 years isn't a casual thing even if it's one sided. In my case, I got lucky - not a douche, another chance. So I don't know what it's like to move on from that. I'll let you know if that changes?
I'm always ready to help a friend with a relationship/guy/girl problem. It happens quite frequently too.
Tonight has been a bit hectic. I've been dealing with my own life, my sister's boy problems, my friend's girlfriend issue, and trying to find a suitable guy for 2 of my single ladies. I don't mind any of it...except for the sister part. I'm not okay with a guy she has liked for 4 years (does that long lasting thing run in the family?) telling her friend she's a "mother fucking ho." First of all, it's not true. Second of all, douche. I'd beat him up if he were close by. Mostly I sympathize, because if that happened to me, I would want to crawl into a hole for a very long time. I told her to ignore him and eventually she would move on. I don't even know if that's true. Having feelings for someone for 4 or 5 years isn't a casual thing even if it's one sided. In my case, I got lucky - not a douche, another chance. So I don't know what it's like to move on from that. I'll let you know if that changes?
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