Ambushed

Tonight I went grocery shopping with my dad. I should have known better.
He used it as an excuse to grill me about my life and what I want in the future. Honestly it wasn't that bad, but there are some things that are too far off to think about. For example, when I want to have children and if I want to be the "bread winner" who provides for the family. Way, way way too soon for that.

The simpler stuff I could handle. It's always the same questions over and over by everyone; Tip toeing around the main point. Eventually you all get to it though. "I don't want you go get hurt." If I here that one more time, I will punch whoever says that in the face.

Everyone gets hurt. It's part of life. You can't avoid it. You can't hide and lead a small life because you're afraid of the pain. Would you learn anything if everything went right? No. When something or someone worth it, risk it. How will you know if it's/they're worth it if you don't risk it?

I know my dad wants the best for me. My friends want the best for me. Hopefully you do too. I know I do. Every move I've made in the past 6 months has been on step closer to getting what I want and what I know is best for me...aside from 2 out of those 3 drunken nights this past summer/fall.

A short List: What's worth risking pain or failure
Sport Psychology - I found my passion. I am going to work myself into the ground to get to graduate school. Then I'll work myself into the ground to get through graduate school. Then I'll work myself into the ground to get myself to the job I really want.

Family - I've never told them how much I appreciate and love them. I'm working on that. What am I risking? That they'll abandon me no matter how much I love them. It's an irrational fear, but one that I've had since infancy. Of course they're worth that risk.

Closest Friends - Similar to family.

New Friends - Maybe they'll become close friends. One can never have too many close friends.

Myself - I'm worth it. I could say more, but I don't feel the need to. Ask if you don't already know.

Buffalo Sabres - I put my heart into supporting them because sometimes it's good to put yourself into something you can't control.

(I'm starting to lose focus, which means sleep time soon)

You - It's not that I don't know. I know more than almost everything else on this list.
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I wrote this because I felt a little angry about the doubt that I don't have and everyone else seem to have, and because something someone said triggered my need to fight...for my happiness and for yours

Key:
You = anyone reading this except for the last 2