This Time

My feelings are too complicated to word properly.
Honestly, I think some things should remain between the two people involved and that the world does not need to know such things; not family, not friends, no one but us two.

Love is scary sometimes, because it can be gone in one moment and you can be left with nothing but pain and scars. You might be the parents left in the world without your child or a child left by parents before being given the chance to show how lovable and amazing you are or half of a couple who was left because time and space were too much to handle.

I think true love lasts beyond physical death though. Life has consequences: to watch it fade and die. We experience our loved ones flourish and then are forced to watch as time passes and age or unforeseen events take them away from us. Our love for them doesn't die though.

How many years has my grandmother been without her husband, and yet she still loves him. Nothing has faded except his physical existence. The same goes for the love of our parents. The majority of my generation has yet to face that loss, but when we do, our love for them and their significance in our lives won't change.

True love doesn't fade. That doesn't mean relationships don't take work though or that I believe anything is "meant to be."

I've never been more sure of the fact that I'm in love. After so many years, so much time apart, so much pain, so much elation...I'm still here. I still believe in this man 100% and my feelings for him only seem to grow. For the first time ever, I've been able to tell someone I love him, mean it and not felt uncomfortable. I can look him in the eyes and know that he knows that I love him without feel exposed and afraid.

I could perhaps say more if it weren't 2:45 AM and I hadn't exhausted my emotions for the night.

I feel like the luckiest woman, but I know he's just as lucky to have my love and affection.

I'll leave you with a quote from "All In," a song from Lifehouse's latest album.

"There's no taking back
what we've got's too strong,
we've had each others back for too long
There's no breaking up this time
And you know it's okay, I came to my senses
Letting go of my defenses
There's no way I'm giving up this time."