Canada

I've been thinking quite a bit since yesterday about moving to Toronto. It seems to me that this is the first place I've been besides Maine, where I feel completely happy with the people and comfortable in the environment. It's a large city, but I like the culture. There's a large Jewish community, lots of music and arts, french speaking people...I feel like I'm home.

I'm trying to figure out whether some of it isn't that I'm far away from my problems with men, but I think that's only a small portion of it. I adore my family. It's great being together even when we're all bickering. After all that's what Jews do; that's how we show our love. Jon and his mom are like me and my mom. I sit back and grin sometimes while listening to them bicker and pick at each other.

Today Don said "Do we all have to go up to get the tickets?" All 5 of us went up together...or more precisely Jon, Fran, my mom and I rushed up to the kiosk right before Don made that comment. I responded "Of course! We're a Jewish family. We have to do it all together." The part I didn't say was partly because we are making sure the person in charge is doing it right (a little Jewish joke). We all have to have our input and the younger generation (Jon and me in this instance) are making sure the older generation is getting it done correctly and as promptly as possible.

I consider Jon and I to be of the same generation, because he and I are very similar in many respects and I've grown up with older people. I get along with people who are at least 5 years older than me much better that those my own age. They're generally more decisive, know more about who they are and what they want. So yes, I adore my cousins Jon and Sara.

A Jewish family is a good thing to have.

I like Toronto. There are plenty of opportunities for a sport psychologist or athletic trainer in Toronto and Canada in general. Who knows. I have to get through my undergraduate degree first. I'm also not sure how far I can live from my parents without feeling home sick. Then I have to think eventually about keeping the Cabin in Maine, because I don't plan to ever give that up and having kids, which I'm not sure I want to raise in the US. That's further into the future though.

Time to sleep, so I can be lively tomorrow for more shopping and bickering with my family. I love that my cousin Jon likes to shop as much as I do. It's funny.

Wanna Get In The Stroller?

That would be a line from the stroller scene in Away We Go. Okay Hallie, you got me hooked on this movie. I had to buy it! I'm currently at the part where they are going to Montreal. It makes me miss Canada. I'm thinking about going to Toronto to visit my cousins (since i have an open invitation) when my parents go on a cruise in May. It kind of depends on my dog though...and obviously if Fran is okay with it.

Speaking of my dog. It really is going to be like raising a child...except not as difficult. Luca arrives the morning of the 19th, which means I will probably have to miss the game that night. That's okay though, because I would probably feel guilty if I left him the first night especially. Then my family is going to see the Magic of Christmas show on the 20th at 1 PM. Originally Emma scheduled a bunch of friends to meet her boy that night for dinner. I don't want to be gone twice in one day, so I invited everyone over to my house for dinner. Turns out it may happen the next day anyway.

For awhile my freedom to do things will be limited. I don't mind.

I refused to go on the cruise in May, because I don't want to leave my dog. I can't spend the night anywhere my dog can't go...which means no alcohol parties unless I have a ride home. I guess people are gonna have to come to my house more often! I hope Luca gets along well with Jared's dogs. That would be nice. Katya is going to be his godmother. She's going to be a dog owner vicariously through me. I'm going to do some dog therapy with Beans, because he's my brother and he should like my dog.

I know it's a big responsibility and I know I'm up to it, but when you care for, raise, and love something so pure, isn't there often a worry that you'll fuck it up? I know I won't, but it's still a thought in the back of my mind and my parents haven't been helpful in that department. Constant "well it's a lot of responsibility" and "I don't think you realize how much responsibility it is." I try my best to keep my temper under control when they say that, but a scene from SLC Punk runs through my head where Stevo listens to what his parents are saying and then stands up, flips them off with both hands and yells "Fuck. You!"

Anyway that brings me to New Years. I've been think about it since Jared brought up his parents being gone for New Years and maybe planning a little party there (with alcohol of course). I've kind of been unsure about that though, because there's someone else I wanted to spend New Years with too...and of course I'll have Hallie with me. I wouldn't leave her behind! She's my drinkin' buddy! as well as my sushi, Mornings In Paris, and (insert many other activities here) buddy.

Last year Kate, Katya and I wanted to do something nice for New Years. We wanted to go dancing, dress up, and they wanted to drink (I didn't drink at all back then). Unfortunately that wasn't really an option and our group of guys aren't really into that kind of thing. Suddenly this year it might be possible. Everything that I wanted...well not everything, but pretty damn close. I told Hallie of course and she was quite excited (she also has a concussion, which might be part of the loopy happiness, but that's okay!).

I have 2 dilemmas. First dilemma, I don't want my friends to think I'm betraying them/skipping out and in fact I really do want to spend New Years with them, but I want the chance to dress up, party in a hotel (okay really I could do without that). Really there is one reason I want to go. Good luck trying to make me say it out loud. But I haven't spent a New Years without Katya in years and I don't want to separate from my other half this year...and Iszy! She's my tipsy dancing buddy! Anyway if this new plan goes through, I've kind of made the choice. Talking to Hallie made me feel better about it too.
Second dilemma, Luca. I don't think it's a good idea leaving him alone for that long. Obviously he's gonna have to go outside and I can't go home in an intoxicated state...where as I could take Luca to Jared's house and it would be fine.

Anyway. Happy Chanukah! Give me gelt! 7 days and 7.5 hours until Luca arrives.