Suck It Up

I always think Hallie is saying "suck it off." Maybe it's just my dirty mind.

Tonight was amazing. Before the game I predicted Nathan Gerbe would have 2 assists and felt good about the Pirates winning. It was the most exciting game of the season for multiple reasons. They won 7-1 and Nate got 2 assists. There were a couple fights and lots of roughing. I enjoyed it quite thoroughly. Afterward I sent Nate a message saying I told him the night would be good. He responded "keep saying it." I will, Nate, I will.

At this point, I think the after party on Monday night will be very interesting. I'm really excited for the whole All Star Classic. I went to Worcester last year, because I wanted to see Nate play, but he was injured. Luckily it's in Portland this year and I get to go again with Katya this time. Lots of young players running around Portland? Many options for Katya. Meanwhile I shall focus on befriending Nate in person (as well as on facebook...er I think he's befriending me? He started it.). One can never have enough good friends.

Also stood up for myself a little in a different department. I think it was a good move, although I feel kind of bad. Then I went back on what I said. (Hallie is probably reading this and thinking "god damn it rosalba!") True enough, it is what it is though.

I don't know where my head has been lately. That's kind of a lie. I do. I just don't want to admit it. Hallie has definitely noticed. I get distracted a lot. I look very pensive. I can't remember things. I don't know what I'm doing with my life anymore. I don't want to go back to school this semester. Maybe I needed more of a break than I realized. I don't know.

The life I want is not the one I'm heading toward. Honestly I don't really know where I'm headed, but I know what I want and I don't feel like I can tell anyone, because I feel like they will say "really? that's all you want to do with your life?" That's where I want to start though. My mom always says "don't make your life small." I think she would consider it a small life, but I don't. It just feels so right. I feel like I was given the abilities I have for a reason. I can understand things that I shouldn't be able to for a reason. I was made for this...and more, but this is what I burn for. This is where I want to start.

At the moment all I know is that I want to be in Lowell tomorrow at 1:30, but I won't be there, because I couldn't find anyone to go with me.

I'll try to end on a happy note. Hallie introduced me to Your Love Is My Drug by Kesha.

Won't listen to any advice, mamma's telling me to think twice
But left to my own devices i'm addicted its a crisis!

My friends think I've gone crazy, my judgment is getting kinda hazy
My status is gonna be affected if I keep it up like a love sick crackhead

I don't care what people say
The rush is worth the price I pay
I get so high when you're with me
But crash and crave you when you are away