I was so happy when Beans came home. It's as exciting as the Christmas mornings when I woke up, ran into the living room and found Disney Barbies in front of the fireplace...not that Beans is a Barbie (hahaha!). The thing is I don't think anyone else knows quite how to handle me when I'm down and I tend to pull away even though I don't want to isolate myself. I guess I feel (especially with the man situation) that I don't want to whine and annoy my friends who have already heard so much about it. Believe me, I know how annoying it can be. I just get sunk even more when I'm by myself with it though I guess. Iszy understands my situation really well though and Beans is...like my hope for mankind (as opposed to womankind).
Anyway, I'm currently on an 'up' swing. Luke said he would come to my party on Saturday (maybe). It's like something switched as soon as he said that and my brain went 'oh? so he really does like me?' Then I might or might not have danced around the room...
I guess we'll see though if he follows through.
On to another subject, freshman year (the part that didn't involve Luke). 8th grade and freshman year were very interesting years for Iszy and me (not to say the rest weren't). She idolized a senior in 8th grade and we convinced him to talk to a drain with us after an assembly once. Yes we were that weird...wait we still are (and I love it!). Then freshman year I was friends with another senior that year and Iszy dated him. His name is David Kurtz, but I call him Kurtz. That's about the time a certain other senior caught my eye. Funnily enough he happened to be neighbors and friends with Kurtz. Needless to say I had a huge crush that year. Iszy and I nicknamed him Audrey because he had beautifully long eye lashes (like I said, we're weird).
Long story short, he's been in and out of my life since my freshman year of highschool. So last night Iszy and I went to see him play with his band in Kennebunk. We met up with Kurtz just as the police shut down the show. I was very disappointed not to hear the band play. So we went to the beach instead. Just like old times; the four of us hung out sharing a couple of beers and my flask of malibu. Then we decided to go back to Audrey's house to hang out (it was cold out). I went with Audrey on the tour bus. It was actually a lot of fun after I stopped feeling awkward. We dropped off a couple of the band members and then it was just me and 5 guys on the way to his house.
By now, I'm sure you all know how much I love being the only girl in a group of guys (or one of the few). The conversation consisted of the size of one of their band members...well members (haha!). So of course I felt right at home because I'm used to my brothers talking about sex constantly. It's a fun topic for me too and most girls feel awkward about it. Anyway he was a cool dude. He drunkenly introduced himself after he saw my Jewish star. What do you know, another Jew!
Fast forward - I finally tried the white wine and surprise, I liked it. Kurtz then proceeded to give me the remaining wine from glasses that Iszy, Steve, and he had not finished. Then I was in a very happy place. I could tell because I started giggling a lot at nothing. That's about the time Audrey and I started talking more in depth. Unfortunately it was very hard to concentrate on what he was saying. I had to try really hard, but I think I managed well.
Iszy and I ended up staying with Kurtz at his house. I got the guest room and she got the pullout sofa bed. I had 4 dreams that night, but I only remember 1. I don't feel like writing it here though.
Anyway we're all going to his show on Monday night and maybe have a repeat of the wine loveliness. Who knows. It'll be nice to have those guys around again, because they're cool dudes and they have more figured out about life in general than my male friends who are my age. This isn't to say they're experts, or I'm an expert, or anyone isn't an expert.
I'll just end with this: Last night was fucking beautiful and I'm really excited for Saturday night and Sunday and Monday! I really want to dance...but for now I have to finish my paper.
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