End Chapter: Psychology Grad

Everyone who touches our lives teaches us something.
Sometimes we wish they didn't.
But they do.
I'm not sure what I've learned from the Psych Grad yet.

I feel like every time I've tried so hard not to make past mistakes, something always goes wrong.
and...
When I do the things my friends and I think are definitely mistakes, they tend to work out well.

Last night I was happy.
These past 2 days I've only been happy while asleep, part of the time I walked around the boulevard, and while dancing, but for 4 and a half hours last night I was happy and I felt like I was where I was supposed to be.

Maybe I need to be less careful and make more mistakes. Then I'll end up figuring out what the right path for me.

On the bright side, this has in no way affected my decision to go to MECA and study photography.
After Luke I didn't want to do anything.
After the Photographer, I ran into the woods and cried for awhile. Then I was dealing with Nana dying on top of that and school went down the hole. I hated it.
So I took a break.
I was afraid my decision to go to MECA was based on him. I didn't really think it was, but I wasn't sure. Now I know for sure it's not. It's my path.
Right now, I would like to go back to sleep, but I can handle my responsibilities (work, dog etc) and make it through the day.

My moods range from sadness to depression to a tiny bit of anger to okay ("things might be okay. I'm alive) to very rarely happy.
What makes me happy these days? Small things I see around me (the curves of branches, the a young couple ("I really will get to be that happy someday on a more permanent level"), a bird, someone walking their dog etc), Friends (thus far: Kat, Kate, Carol, Beans, Jared, Rick, Mylene have all been there to some degree for me), exercise (taking walks, running, dancing).
That's about it.

I just have to hold it together until 6:30. One minutes at a time.
Then he comes over and tries to make up for the text, but can't really and I cry for the rest of the night, maybe watch some SG-1 and eat ice cream before I fall asleep.

And so ends that chapter.