Not really though. My grandmother half raised me because my mom was always away and my dad went to work when I was little. She taught me how to bake the best cookies in the world, always gave my dessert in the afternoon and after dinner (we never told my mom), how to multiply and do long division...She's kind of the ultimate grandmother (I call her nana). She's nothing if not feisty, out going and strong minded. Today she told me how she convinced her husband to marry her. She said something along the lines of "Ask me to marry you or we're done dating." I found that hilarious and it sounds like all the women in our family really, even on my mom's side. We're independent "do it or get out" kind of women.
Today I went over to fill out a book of memories with her. I've been putting it off for a few weeks and I feel bad about that. Really I've been seeing her less and less. When I transferred back to Maine, I thought I'd be seeing her more frequently. Physically it's not that difficult. I have time. Emotionally it's hard. She's 94 and doing pretty well for that age, but in my mind I have this image of her from 10 years ago. The difference is shocking. The fact is that she's doing okay, but something could happen suddenly and she could be gone. It was hard enough losing Granny (my mom's mother) and it was even harder seeing my mom cry for a year. Nana has been a much bigger part of my life though and I can't imagine her not being there anymore. So when I left I cried all the way home and I've been feeling crappy since then.
Doesn't help that my plans didn't work out today and of course that yes on 1 went through. Lunch was good, but I need something to pick me up again. And some dinner. Damn you parents for not being here tonight to cook for me!
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