Contradiction

It sounds like a negative word, doesn't it?

Well it's not in this case.

My mom as well as other people in RC have advised me in the past to find a man who contradicts all my patterns. (my patterns being: 'My birth mother didn't want me, so why would anyone else,' 'I need people to see that I'm good enough,' etc.) In terms of men that means I'm attracted to men who are indecisive and tend to leave or be unavailable. Those are the negative traits at least.

A contradiction would be: a man who can say he likes to be with me, who makes an efforts to see me, shows me that he likes to be with me, who can schedule around me as well as me scheduling around him, who does not have a girlfriend or as previously noted, an emotional intimacy issue, who can admit when he is wrong, who can apologize sincerely, who is not an alcoholic or a smoker, who does not do drugs, who does not belittle me by making jokes about my heritage or religion, who likes to listen...

I found a contradiction to all of this...or a man who contradicts all of these things. He helps me remember that my time is not worthless and should not be wasted. I remember even more than usual that I am a great person who any man would be lucky to have. I'm happy and in the moment when I'm with him. I smile and laugh a lot. There is no sadness attached.

This man is not Luke. I love Luke, but if he doesn't do something soon, he'll lose me. I don't want it to happen like that.