Cousins

I've been thinking about the difference between my Canadian cousins and Southern cousins.

I feel somewhat guilty about the fact that I feel no need or desire to see my Southern cousins. I know my father and his mother wish I would try to reconnect with them, because they're "the only other family" they have. When have I ever done something I don't want to do though? It happens more than people who know me very well would think, but still...

My southern cousins have grown into nice people I'm sure. I don't approve of one of them getting married so early, but that's not my concern. We never had much in common. Krista and I bonded over barbies, and clearly, neither of us are in that stage anymore. She's in a southern state of mind. I'm in a Rosalba state of mind. Marcus always kept to himself.

Then you have the Jewish/European/Canadian side of the family. What can I say?
<3 <3 <3 <3

I took to one of my cousins from the very first moment I can remember. It was a birthday party for my great uncle. The whole family came together: parents, grand parents, great uncle, cousins, aunts and uncles. My mom pointed them out, "that's Jon and Sarah." Sarah wore a dress and they ran around the restaurant/inn. I was shy though and about 10 years younger, so I clung to my mom. My first impression of Jon was 'nice.' I was too young to analyze people in any complexity, but I remember a general 'he's cool and nice' feeling. From then on he was my favorite cousins. I like his sister a lot too though. They're both great.

I didn't get to see them often, but they all came for my Bat Mitzvah. I took to a third cousin then more than Jon. Now that I think about it, I think it's because he was more outgoing than Jon with me and I took that as he liked me more than Jon did. That probably wasn't true at all and it changed again last year when I was in Toronto.

Anyhoo, I'm too tired to go into much depth and as I've said many times before, some things aren't meant for the public. I had a good long talk with Jon this evening about everything. I guess he and I have both been shy until now. Now that I think about it, I tell people different parts of who I am and what I've experienced, but who really knows it all except my parents and now Jon? Maybe there are things that only family should know? Where is the line between very close friends and family though? Maybe they make up more than one family?

Too much to think about. The conversation about Halifax over dinner was upsetting for me, because it reminded me of Luke. Post Halifax made for a good last evening/night in Toronto.

Good night, Toronto.