It appears that I have a lot of pent up rage. I think I've been storing it up since I was about 4 years old and it pertains to particular memory, but I won't discuss that here.
I've said this before, I don't get mad. I don't. I'm honestly afraid of what I might do if I let it out. I guess recently I've realized that there are healthy ways to release it though and then it will be gone forever. Really anger is just a cover for hurt. I think it's safe to say I have a lot of that in me too. Luckily I can get rid of all that nasty stuff.
Today I was in the process of becoming very angry, but still in control. I can't lose it until all the facts come in after all. I did that once before, and almost made a huge mistake. So my hands were shaking badly, all of my muscles were clenched and I was ready. Then I realized it was a false alarm and I immediately relaxed. What I thought was interesting was that my anger suddenly disappeared. I know that's not possible though, so now I'm wondering where it went, because it's obviously still hidden somewhere.
Now to enjoy another relaxing weekend at the cabin. I finally get to see Avatar in the Imax theater tonight and tomorrow is the super bowl party!
GO COLTS! (They're my team)
I'm not really considering going to the beanpot on Monday night. I really want to, but I don't see it happening. This makes me sad. :(
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