Busy Like Lucas Opperman

That's my new phrase, because that's what I've been for the past 2 weeks...and yes it does kind of have a negative connotation. Today I realized it's not a good thing to be because I basically passed out from fatigue and too much emotional strife around 1:30.

I worked for an hour this morning outside, had my hair done and found out that Luke couldn't make it to lunch today on the way home. That's about the time I completely lost it. I was so relieved, not because of the reason, but just for the extra time. I was weak, shaky and tearful when I got home and ended up passing out on the couch.

Now I'm feeling a bit better. I'm confining myself to the house and avoiding social contact for the rest of the day. I'm more confused than ever though. He apologized again AND he let me know an hour and a half in advance. That never happens. Usually I end up waiting and then finally text him and he says something came up. Maybe my letter actually did some good and he realized how shitty he's treated me all year.

Last but not least, Carol said something last night as we walked the boulevard. "Maybe indie is short for indecisive." Both of the guys I really care about are indie boys. They're also both indecisive. My friend Kurtz also said, "...you should get a real man...or at least, one who knows what he wants in life." That's a good idea, except there aren't any my age and I don't see the point in settling for something temporary just for the heck of it.

For the moment, I'm too tired to dwell on the subject of men in my life. However, I am jealous that Angelina Jolie was married to Jonny Lee Miller.