Memories

As you probably know by this point, I think a lot. So while getting dressed I started thinking about things that remind me of unpleasant memories. You know how we sometimes associate things (songs, places, activities etc) with people or events that we don't want to remember? Yeah not that fun. Even less fun is when it was a song, place, activity that we enjoyed until it was marred by memory.

Here are a couple of examples:
1. I really like the song Any Way You Want It by Journey, but it was one of my ex's ring tones, so after we broke up I liked it, but I hated it...then it ended up being on a commercial that I saw frequently on tv. Even worse. So my former roommate made up a funny song to the lyrics and sang it whenever it came on or I decided to torture myself and listen to the song. Well luckily it lost that meaning and became a song I enjoy again.

2. I get anxious when it comes to the Old Port Fest. Remember that year my friends and I met up with someone and then he left with 2 other girls? A. that was incredibly humiliating B. It hurt my feelings C. Beans remembers it well too and reminded me not to get my hopes up again this past Old Port Fest. I still feel uneasy every year, but this past year was pretty fun for the most part.

3. Being Peruvian. Reminds me that I have a birth family. I used to refuse to acknowledge my heritage because remembering someone gave you up who should have loved you isn't fun, even if it was for my own good. Now, I love being Peruvian. I accept that they did what was best for me, but I still don't plan on being nice or ever letting them meet me.

4. Damaged by Danity Kane reminds me of Senior prom. It used to make me feel like crap, because it reminded me of someone. What I remember now is a good summer and the look on (the girl who hated me most at Waynflete)'s face when her date decided I was more interesting than her/the look she gives me whenever I see her around 'flete or downtown.

Sometimes it's easy to change how you view things. Sometimes not. I guess I've learned that avoiding things just to avoid something else unpleasant isn't helpful and doesn't make the situation any better. I guess normally I have answers to things, but on this subject...there isn't a universal answer.
Just a string of thoughts that went through my head....