Twinge

There's more than on kind of jealousy. The first thing that pops to mind when most people hear the word, "jealous," is a girl restricting her boyfriend, yelling when he talks to other girls, and spends a lot of time with his boys.

That kind of behavior makes me want to heave. Also it's a bit sexist, because guys act like that a lot too. Really it's just sign that person is insecure, and why bother with that?

Of course there's jealousy born from competition. I don't mean sports. I mean a long history of women competing for "best man" without the man ever knowing. Sometimes it's more obvious, sometimes not. Social events throughout history have been our way of showing off our men, so to speak (men are generally not so subtle at this).

That's part of the whole "beauty is pain" thing. The most attractive woman with the most attractive man...wins. They're more prestigious. I like to think in the modern world more is valued that looks, but the fashion scene is more important than ever. I'll put it this way, my friends and I (the girls) require intelligence in addition to physical attraction. I'll be honest, if a guy isn't extremely attractive to me, then I won't bother, but I won't bother either if he's extremely attractive and not extremely smart. My ladies and I are attractive, intellegent, independent women and we expect no less from our men. I believe you can have it all.

This doesn't mean that there's no competition. There's a reason women talk more about men than men to about women. Again, a generalization, but it tends to be true. Well actually there are many reasons, but I'm talking about competition.

So when a women decides to bring her boyfriend to a social event with friends, it's because she wants approval (to some degree), she wants to integrate groups, and of course, she's showing him off. Then we turn to the other people in the group.

The single ladies, the coupled up ladies, and the dating ladies. If they're true friends, they will be more than happy that their attached friend is happy of course. The single ladies, depending on whether they want to find someone or are content with their status, will be perfectly happy or feel happy and hide slight twinge of jealousy. The coupled up ladies will also be happy for their friend, but be more judgmental (something like: "they seem happy together. is he being a gentleman? is he smart? does he have a good sense of humor? is he attractive?) Then there is the in between group. These ladies tend to be the most jealous. They found men, but haven't secured that relationship yet, so it could go either way. They're thinking, "why the hell don't I have that!"

It's one thing to think these things, it's another to act on it. Sometimes you just get that feeling (whichever group you belong to), but taking your own issues out on the couple or your man isn't okay. That's why I would suggest having a larger group of single friends, if you're single and a larger group of coupled up friends, if you're in a relationship. That's not to say, eliminate the other group. Have plenty of both, but the one you relate to most is good for talking irrational feelings out. They will understand most.

My own position on this subject isn't important, so I won't say anything here.

My advice to guys: If you suspect you are being put up for show, don't feel disrespected. It's not because you're an inanimate object like money, it's because your girl thinks you're amazing and wants other's to see that too. Really it's an honor.